I perfectly remember the moment when I was listening to πππ―ππ« πππ ππ ππ¨ for the very first time. Late night, no one around, headphones and Brian’s photo on the screen… THE atmosphere to completely drawn into music and my own feelings.
Although tears of tenderness, admiration, and overexcitement appeared in my eyes earlier, on ππππ πππππππ I burst into tears fully not even trying to suppress this highly emotional move…
From that night on, it’s not much different every time I listen to this song.
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| Photo credit: Franz Reiterer |
ππππ πππππππ audioπ΅ https://bit.ly/3KHORjr π΅
πBrian’s fragile whisper makes the words feel like the most honest and vulnerable eye-to-eye conversation ever…
π“πͺππ π° ππππ ππππ πππππππππ…” – and the heart skips a beat.
πA slight voice trembling on “ππππππππππ" gives the word itself a new painful sense.
ππΊπππ πππ crushing from the sky become a horribly accurate definition of all the inner fears and insecurities.
It’s not the first time Brian goes bare heart speaking of his addictions in Placebo songs. In this regard, πππ§π ππ’π¬π¬π’π§π is some kind of a continuation of ππ¨π¬ππ¨. Although Brian keeps the lyrics very much open for different interpretations, in the interviews, he opens up about the meaning of πππ§π ππ’π¬π¬π’π§π personally to him. And I have to admit, those words sound absolutely as heartbreaking to me as the lines of the song.
π°π ”πΎπππ π΄ππππππ” πππππ ππππ π ππππππππππππ ππππ π³πππ ππ?
π’ππ«π’ππ§: “No. “Went Missing” is primarily a contemplation about my close relationship with my addiction therapist. Whenever I relapsed. it became pitch black around me. I kind of disappeared inside and out. When I reappeared, he said: „You must have been off the face of the earth for a while.” The song is also about how my addiction has become visible to the public from time to time. A handful of times in history of Placebo I didn’t make it over the first song. I often stopped the shows in the song “For What It’s Worth.” Hence of this is the line „I fell off the face of planet Earth / I went missing for a living / People were singing For What It’s Worth / When I went missing for a living.”
π¨ππ πππ πππππ πππππ πππππ π πππ πππππππ ππππππππ?
π’ππ«π’ππ§: “Yes, I regret that my addiction kept spirally out of control from time to time until it towered over my public life and profession. I find it disgraceful and embarrassing not always being able to play a concert to the end.”
πΎπππ π ππ πππ π ππππ ππππ ππ πππ?
π’ππ«π’ππ§: “The annihilation of the self. The search for this disappearance, so I don’t have to feel myself. Basically, I was running away from myself, from my own personality. I didn’t understand for many years that people who are very close to me are in great fear about me. Anyone who has a close relationship to person who disappears, worries about his life and may fear never seeing him again.”
π«π πππ ππππ π ππππ πππ ππ πππππππ πππ?
π’ππ«π’ππ§: “Let me put in this way: A couple of years I`ve been working towards a lifestyle change which is much, much more moderate.”
(ππΏπ΄π, πΌπ π π’π 121, π΄ππππ 2022)
π’ππ«π’ππ§: "Someone wrote something very interesting about Went Missing, which I thought was pretty prescient really. Somebody said that it was a song about someone who survives through invisibility, someone who exists in the complete opposite way that most people exist today, which is by exposing themselves literally in some cases or presenting to the world a kind of a contrived formatted version of your own life. And the narrator in Went Missing is doing the opposite.
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| Photo credit: Dieter Jakob |
It’s one of the most meditative moments on the record, and it was born out of me meditating on my various addictive relationships, I suppose, and the consequences that it had, and how I did become absent, and how at certain points in my life, you know, I would just disappear. And disappear for weeks sometimes. It’s also directed to the people who are left behind, who are left going, ‘well, where's he disappeared to this time? When is he coming back? Is he ever coming back?’ The fact that I went missing for a living meant that it was something that happened a great deal, and like a lot of things in my writings, it's me processing externally a lot of stuff that I've been dealing with internally. And often, because it's your own voice inside, it's all wrapped up in emotion. You can't really make head or tail of what's really going on, you externalise it in a song or any other artistic endeavour. You do get a little bit of a distance from it, and so you're able to understand what's going on with you and what was going on with you in the past, through what you've written. πΊππππππππ πππππ πππππ πππππ πππ ππ πππ ππ ππππ ππππππππ ππππ ππππ πππ πππππππ."
(πππππππ ππππππ, ππππβ 25π‘β, 2022)
This latest sentence is the most hopeful one, in my opinion. The only deep understanding of the reasons and consequences of addictive behavior makes the way out possible.
I also think, πππ§π ππ’π¬π¬π’π§π is a good test for everyone’s ability for empathy and compassion.
π¨ πππ πππ πππ ππππππππππ… That’s what it is.
Not a permission for judgement.
Post by Olga
