♦️𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 with X-Ray (2003)♦️

In April 2003 Brian talked to a journalist from X-Ray and answered some very personal questions during their conversation. I picked out the most interesting and uncommon questions for you.

Photo credit: David Willis

𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗪𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗜𝗘𝗦𝗧?
📢 ”There was a period in 1999 where I was gloriously happy, but I was delusional! (laughs) I was head over heels in love and I thought that this was it and that I was sorted and that a whole bag of worries had just left me, like Pilgrim’s Progress, losing the burden of the sins on his back. I felt deliriously happy. But in the immortal words of Ian McCulloch, nothing lasts forever.”


𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗜𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗗𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗠𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗬?
📢 ”I was in Africa where we were living at the time. I was about two years old and I remember being in my cot, and it seemed to me to be like a prison cell already. I remember staring through the bars watching our maid sweep the floor.”


𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗔 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗕𝗢𝗗𝗬?
📢 ”Yes, when I was a kid, in a car wreck on the way to school one morning. I was shocked at how ghost white this body was. And it was very soon after the accident. It’s an image that’s never left me.”


𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗩𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗛?
📢 ”Organised religion has always seemed a bit of a cop-out to me, cos you’re accepting a list of rules without finding your own morality and your own principles – which takes more effort, but is infinitely more rewarding. The idea of life after death, which I grew up with all around me, is that it almost seems like an excuse for not living your life today. Life is so precious that it can’t be a rehearsal for some idyllic existence in the clouds. If you realise there could be nothing at the end of it all, it doesn’t mean you have to have a massive existential quandary about it, it just makes every second that you live all the more precious, and everything you do and every effect you have on other people much more important. When we go, we go. I’d like to believe in reincarnation. It would be nice, but I’m not too sure.”


𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗧 𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗩𝗘 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗢𝗜𝗡?
📢 ”God, ’98. I don’t really do drugs anymore. After heroin, I had a real problem with cocaine as well. I remember talking to my manager and saying, “this is all getting to be too much effort, I don’t know if I can deal with it, I just want to get back to where I was before”, which was just a drinker and a smoker. It agrees with me; the rest of it doesn’t really at all. And that’s all I am now, a drinker and smoker. It’s good. A stoned band is a happy band!”

Photo credit: Jeffrey Delannoy

𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗛𝗔𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡?
📢 ”Many times. I’ve been a heartbreaker too. Which I find funny cos I’m the guy who couldn’t get laid at college. Which is why, when people treat you like some kind of sex symbol, I find it quite embarrassing. I’ve been a bad boy, and I’ve hurt people along the way. It’s impossible to exist and to take risks in life without hurting people along the way. There’s nothing worse than not attempting something cos you’re worried about a negative outcome. That’s self-censorship on a life level.”


𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗩𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗘𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗡?
📢 ”Yes, shock horror, Brian Molko is a love cheat!”


𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗢𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗔𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗢𝗨𝗦?
📢 ”Yes. But not recently! (laughs) I often wonder if monogamy or marriage is one of these social constructs that has been put in place in order to control the general public. It’s a kickback to the Old Testament. It’s very uncommon for animals to mate for life. And there was a study done on pigeons and they found that 13% of pigeons are inherently homosexual. Gay pigeons, let’s go! (laughs) I’m convinced my dog was gay when I was growing up, too.”


𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗪𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗?
📢 The woman I lost my virginity to. I was 14, she was 16. We lost our virginity together. She was a beautiful French girl called Carole. She was my first proper girlfriend.


𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗜𝗡 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛?
📢 ”I was 17. It’s when I moved to London, and fell in love with a third year drama student. I think he relished the idea of breaking me in probably more than was actually in love with me! I’ve had sporadic relationships with men since. I remember a fantastic quote of Derek Jarman’s which was “the world has to realise that heterosexuality is not the norm, it’s just common”. That says it all for me.”

Photo credit: Carole Epinette

𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗖𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗘 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗬?
📢 ”My father and I don’t communicate anymore. We’re just not good for each other so we’re not in each other’s lives. I love my mum but she’s deeply religious. Our conversation is limited because I essentially do something that is not the way of the Lord. She’s just had to get used to it. I think the make-up is the thing that annoys my mum the most. Thankfully she’s hard of hearing, so she hasn’t really got the records fully. I have an older brother who I’m really close with, and that’s it.”


𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗩𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗣𝗬?
📢 ”I’ve considered it many times. I’ve been very close to going to see people; I’ve cancelled appointments on the day for many different reasons. But to be honest, I’m lucky to have the music, that’s totally where I get it out. I’m quite happy with the amount of neuroses I’ve got now. They keep me ticking over. If I got rid of them all, who knows, I might become Sting for God’s sake, and I can’t imagine anything worse on this planet!”


𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗠𝗘𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 𝗡𝗢𝗪, 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗘 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗗 𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢?
📢 ”Yes, I'm improving as a human being. I have more respect for people, I'm learning to become less egocentric and arrogant and I'm learning to listen to people a lot more, which I think is really important. If I was able to go back to my younger self, I think I'd say to myself "drink more water and don't worry about it, it's going to get better". And I think it does. For me, my twenties were definitely a second adolescence which I feel I'm coming out of right now. It was a chaotic, schizophrenic and excessive time and I experienced a lot and learned a great deal from it. I would have a real problem as a human being if I hadn't.
I do think it gets better. I wouldn't necessarily do my twenties again, cos it was a very difficult time. But the demons don't shout as loud anymore. It's okay being me right now.”

Post by Silke