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| Photo credit: David Willis |
๐ช๐๐๐ก ๐๐ก๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ช๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐๐ฃ๐ฃ๐๐๐ฆ๐ง?
๐ข ”There was a period in 1999 where I was gloriously happy, but I was delusional! (laughs) I was head over heels in love and I thought that this was it and that I was sorted and that a whole bag of worries had just left me, like Pilgrim’s Progress, losing the burden of the sins on his back. I felt deliriously happy. But in the immortal words of Ian McCulloch, nothing lasts forever.”
๐ช๐๐๐ง ๐๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ฅ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ง ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฌ?
๐ข ”I was in Africa where we were living at the time. I was about two years old and I remember being in my cot, and it seemed to me to be like a prison cell already. I remember staring through the bars watching our maid sweep the floor.”
๐๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ก ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ฌ?
๐ข ”Yes, when I was a kid, in a car wreck on the way to school one morning. I was shocked at how ghost white this body was. And it was very soon after the accident. It’s an image that’s never left me.”
๐๐ข ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐ง๐?
๐ข ”Organised religion has always seemed a bit of a cop-out to me, cos you’re accepting a list of rules without finding your own morality and your own principles – which takes more effort, but is infinitely more rewarding. The idea of life after death, which I grew up with all around me, is that it almost seems like an excuse for not living your life today. Life is so precious that it can’t be a rehearsal for some idyllic existence in the clouds. If you realise there could be nothing at the end of it all, it doesn’t mean you have to have a massive existential quandary about it, it just makes every second that you live all the more precious, and everything you do and every effect you have on other people much more important. When we go, we go. I’d like to believe in reincarnation. It would be nice, but I’m not too sure.”
๐๐ข๐ช ๐๐ข๐ก๐ ๐๐ฆ ๐๐ง ๐ฆ๐๐ก๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ'๐ฉ๐ ๐ง๐๐๐๐ก ๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ก?
๐ข ”God, ’98. I don’t really do drugs anymore. After heroin, I had a real problem with cocaine as well. I remember talking to my manager and saying, “this is all getting to be too much effort, I don’t know if I can deal with it, I just want to get back to where I was before”, which was just a drinker and a smoker. It agrees with me; the rest of it doesn’t really at all. And that’s all I am now, a drinker and smoker. It’s good. A stoned band is a happy band!”
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| Photo credit: Jeffrey Delannoy |
๐ข ”Many times. I’ve been a heartbreaker too. Which I find funny cos I’m the guy who couldn’t get laid at college. Which is why, when people treat you like some kind of sex symbol, I find it quite embarrassing. I’ve been a bad boy, and I’ve hurt people along the way. It’s impossible to exist and to take risks in life without hurting people along the way. There’s nothing worse than not attempting something cos you’re worried about a negative outcome. That’s self-censorship on a life level.”
๐ฌ๐ข๐จ'๐ฉ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ ๐ง๐๐๐ก?
๐ข ”Yes, shock horror, Brian Molko is a love cheat!”
๐๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐ก ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐๐๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ง๐๐๐จ๐ ๐๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ข๐ก๐ข๐๐๐ ๐ข๐จ๐ฆ?
๐ข ”Yes. But not recently! (laughs) I often wonder if monogamy or marriage is one of these social constructs that has been put in place in order to control the general public. It’s a kickback to the Old Testament. It’s very uncommon for animals to mate for life. And there was a study done on pigeons and they found that 13% of pigeons are inherently homosexual. Gay pigeons, let’s go! (laughs) I’m convinced my dog was gay when I was growing up, too.”
๐ช๐๐ข ๐ช๐๐ฆ ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ง ๐ช๐ข๐ ๐๐ก ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ ๐๐ข๐ฉ๐๐?
๐ข The woman I lost my virginity to. I was 14, she was 16. We lost our virginity together. She was a beautiful French girl called Carole. She was my first proper girlfriend.
๐ช๐๐ข ๐ช๐๐ฆ ๐ง๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ง ๐ ๐๐ก ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก ๐๐ข๐ฉ๐ ๐ช๐๐ง๐?
๐ข ”I was 17. It’s when I moved to London, and fell in love with a third year drama student. I think he relished the idea of breaking me in probably more than was actually in love with me! I’ve had sporadic relationships with men since. I remember a fantastic quote of Derek Jarman’s which was “the world has to realise that heterosexuality is not the norm, it’s just common”. That says it all for me.”
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| Photo credit: Carole Epinette |
๐๐ข๐ช ๐๐๐ข๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐ง๐ข ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ฅ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฌ?
๐ข ”My father and I don’t communicate anymore. We’re just not good for each other so we’re not in each other’s lives. I love my mum but she’s deeply religious. Our conversation is limited because I essentially do something that is not the way of the Lord. She’s just had to get used to it. I think the make-up is the thing that annoys my mum the most. Thankfully she’s hard of hearing, so she hasn’t really got the records fully. I have an older brother who I’m really close with, and that’s it.”
๐๐ข ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ ๐๐ก ๐ง๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ๐ฌ?
๐ข ”I’ve considered it many times. I’ve been very close to going to see people; I’ve cancelled appointments on the day for many different reasons. But to be honest, I’m lucky to have the music, that’s totally where I get it out. I’m quite happy with the amount of neuroses I’ve got now. They keep me ticking over. If I got rid of them all, who knows, I might become Sting for God’s sake, and I can’t imagine anything worse on this planet!”
๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐ ๐๐ง ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ฅ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐๐๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ช, ๐ช๐ข๐จ๐๐ ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ ๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ฅ๐ข๐จ๐ ๐ข๐ ๐ช๐๐๐ง ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ'๐ ๐ง๐จ๐ฅ๐ก๐๐ ๐๐ก๐ง๐ข?
๐ข ”Yes, I'm improving as a human being. I have more respect for people, I'm learning to become less egocentric and arrogant and I'm learning to listen to people a lot more, which I think is really important. If I was able to go back to my younger self, I think I'd say to myself "drink more water and don't worry about it, it's going to get better". And I think it does. For me, my twenties were definitely a second adolescence which I feel I'm coming out of right now. It was a chaotic, schizophrenic and excessive time and I experienced a lot and learned a great deal from it. I would have a real problem as a human being if I hadn't.
I do think it gets better. I wouldn't necessarily do my twenties again, cos it was a very difficult time. But the demons don't shout as loud anymore. It's okay being me right now.”
Post by Silke
