Interview with Brian Molko – Les Inrockuptibles 2009

Dear soulmates!
Recently, we’ve been asked by one of the fans to share an English translation of 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧’𝐬 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 that he did for the French magazine 𝑳𝒆𝒔 𝑰𝒏𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒖𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔 in 2009. I totally believe it’s going to be interesting to all of you. The interview is highly informative but not only… Brian literally bares his heart in it…

Photo credit: RockandPop

Placebo had almost disappeared. In a black hole with no bottom, where they were pushed by the routine of excesses and abuses at the time of Meds. An album more comatose than medicinal with which the band - and a part of its public - came close to the overdose: unable to try out new ideas, bruised by their lifestyle, the never-ending touring, and calamitous internal relationships, Placebo had almost thrown in the towel. But this band that he started as an emergency exit to a dreary life was too important to Brian Molko to let it go.
In this corner, the trio rebuilt themselves, have rediscovered the simple joy of playing, life without drugs or alcohol, a career without a major label to harry them. A new label, indy this time, new drummer, new energy, new cravings: it's Brian Molko, quite enthousiastic and relieved to walk away from those dark years, who got us at home in London.
Interview without stonewalling.

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒍𝒃𝒖𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: "𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏."
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: There really is a feeling of rebirth. After Meds we were at the end of our contract with our major, it forced us to ask ourselves the question: what future do we imagine for Placebo? It was time for a big cleaning, we were not happy anymore in this band. If we had not taken the bull by the horns, we would have kept the band in survival for several years before an inevitable decline. I have not sacrificed everything for fifteen years to let the band die. When an angle in a triangle collapses, it jeopardizes the entire balance. We were growing apart from each other, it was affecting the creativity. Instead of standing together like at our beginnings, Stefan and I huddled in our corner, by survival instinct, Placebo, instead of being a band, became a brand, a simple brand: I was in the compromise, without any sincerity, I had the impression I was going to work with colleagues less and less close to me. It was a travesty of democracy.

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒃𝒐 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: During the recording of Meds... We left the studio without pride, disunited, washed out. But there was a tour to achieve, then we marched to the front lines, as if nothing had happened. I hoped it would heal the wounds: it bruised them. For two years on the road, I really felt alone. I had no choice but to continue - I know nothing else, it's my destiny, my only value...
With Stefan, we decided to get our band back, its spirit, the innocence it had when we were composing, in 1994 in a city housing... We could no longer continue in this cynicism. Even on stage we were pretending, it was not "us against the rest of the world" anymore.

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒎 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓, 𝑺𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝑯𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒕, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒎 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔. 𝑫𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: At the end of the tour we couldn't even look each other in the eye... he was... unpredictable, I was scared of his reaction, emotionally and even physically. So I told him by email, and then our manager officially announced him that he was no longer part of the band. That was two years ago, we haven't spoke again. Since then we have recruited another Steve on drums. His youth, his hunger, his optimism of a young Californian has been crucial for us. He had tattooed "Open Minded" on his knuckles, but not for fun. We needed him to get us out of our thirties-crisis to make us kids again.

𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈'𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: While recording the new album, we forced ourselves to stay as far away as possible from rock, we were only listening to classical music, or the Fleet Foxes and Sigur Ros. It was important to live in a full void, quit our habits, temptations - that's why we left London for Canada. This was in reaction to Meds, to its black, claustrophobic, hopeless side - and also to its context of debauchery. I was dreaming of an album more positive, more colorful, in Technicolor rather than black and white coarse-grained... We felt a real relief when we finished Battle For The Sun, we had surprised ourselves, got rid of our inhibitions... We needed to challenge ourselves. We came back from the edge.

Photo credit: Art Noir

𝑩𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒍𝒃𝒖𝒎, 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: Since we started, fifteen years ago, there has never really been a break, a routine settled itself: writing, recording an album, then two years of touring, and then six months of idleness... There the gap has been even longer since we had little desire to turn our music to a Major company, we wanted to fund all and do it all by ourselves. So the recording in Toronto of Battle For the Sun has been a real pleasure, without the marketing manager on our back to ask if we had a single in the works... Even our manager didn't knew what we were doing. She was receiving invoices - brass and strings recordings - and was worried about what was going on...

𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: I need the public's feedback, its recognition. Here I am in doubt, in confusion, it kills me. I need to be on stage, financially, of course, but psychologically above all. This exhibitionism is as necessary for me as drinking and eating. Without the stage I could not be happy, accomplished.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒃𝒐 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔. 𝑰𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒉, 𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: I have to be constantly busy. Loneliness does not work for me, I can easily sink into total isolation. I was already like that as a kid, sidelined, alienated from others, even my family. I used to lock myself in my room, in Luxembourg, with my records and my guitar. It is very easy for me to relapse. I must fight against it: having too much time to think can be very harmful to me.

𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒓?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: I avoid to go directly home, I still travel a bit, I go through stages of decompression. For two months, everything I do is sleep. All diseases that I managed to postpone for two years of touring then fall over me. I emerge from a bubble, I feel weak, absent, reluctant to do anything... I'm there for nobody, I fade. On tour, every decision is taken by someone else, I become totally dependent and it eat me up to be so dependant, I would often like to cook, do my laundry... When I come back home, I regain some skills, autonomy. Doing dishes and cleaning become a necessity.

𝑫𝒊𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: Since I am 14-15 years old, all the decisions I made in my life went in this direction: to find my way, by the theater, cinema and then music, to deny the working world. Blindly, I believed in my lucky star. I remember, when I was a kid, sitting on the toilet, answering imaginary interviews... In my head, it was never a question of "if I succeed?"... I cut all the bridges behind me for this dream. Living in my dreams, it was a form of protection. I felt totally divorced from society, I knew I could not find my place in it.

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒃𝒐 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓, 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓, 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: I had, it was my answer to success, I invented a character very confident, brash, yelling - that was an exaggeration of myself. A circus freak and a party freak... It is a way to stop feeling anything, to deceive my lack of confidence, the hate of myself... And also part ways with a chronic depression that follows me since adolescence. Because if I could speak through songs, I was unable to do it everyday... But I had to finally kill this character, to face it. It took place shortly after the recording of Meds, which was a veritable orgy of drugs and abuse - this was the way we draped ourselves in the veil of denial, refusing to see that Placebo was not doing well... I was totally addicted to drugs and alcohol, I went to a clinic to heal (silence) ... Four days after I left the hospital, I went on tour. In solidarity, Stefan has also stopped drinking, it was the first time we were touring sober, it was terrifying ... After so many gigs being drunk or high, I realize how much I disespected the public. Today, all that I feel on stage is true, while until now all my emotions were distorted by what I was taking... It exacerbated my discomfort: I was on stage, in front of dozens of people with my face on their T-shirt, who were screaming "I love you" while I hated myself. I wanted to shout to them: "You would not like me if you knew me..." But whatever the mythology says, you sing better, you play better when you are sober... During the recording of the new album, in the studio, I was both mentally and physically present (laughs)...

Photo credit: Gwen

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒘 𝒖𝒑 𝒊𝒏 𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒖𝒎, 𝑳𝒖𝒙𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒈, 𝑬𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂𝒏 𝑨𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒉 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒏 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂 𝑺𝒄𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓. 𝑫𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒔?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: At home I was torn: my mother was very religious, my father was a businessman, and both, for different reasons, didn't agree with my desire for an artistic career... Since childhood I had to cut my own path with a machete, I knew there was nothing to wait from others, that one day I would show them they were wrong, that I had something... It gave me the strength and determination to become myself. This uprooted side had with no doubt contributed to the fact that I feel nowhere at home. It had especially encouraged my solitude. I would have loved to belong to a culture, a family, a clique, but it was out of reach to me. That's why I started Placebo: as a substitute family. It is not just a band that's my big purpose.

𝑶𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒃𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒓𝒖𝒈𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒃𝒖𝒎. 𝑪𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎?
𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐨: It's not a hypochondria, I just have to take medications to heal my depression. For a long time as a teenager, I lived with this pain that had no name. I was 25 when a doctor finally diagnosed my depression. It was a relief to know that I was sick, that it was not something that I was inflicting on myself, that I had no control over my emotions, my permanent sadness. The only positive side is that I have sought to overcome the pain with creativity, hoping to find a form of therapy. One can not imagine what a relief it is to finally know you are sick, not crazy.
(𝐿𝑒𝑠 𝐼𝑛𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒𝑠 "𝐵𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑛 𝑀𝑜𝑙𝑘𝑜 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤", 𝑀𝑎𝑦'09)

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