By Steffen Paust @steffenpaust · On October 19, 2016
It has been almost a week since Placebo canceled their Train concert after only two tracks. After that, Danish media quickly spread the news, and some medias even stated that Brian Molko and Stefan Olsdal had launched a lengthy discussion on stage, which, in our opinion, is an exaggeration of reality. Since then, Placebo have performed in Copenhagen, Oslo, and Stockholm, and received great reviews. Today, we received a submission, written a couple of pure mornings after the concert. Giedre, a Lithuanian music journalist who just moved to Aarhus, sent us this beautiful piece, published below. What can we learn from it? Musicians are people like you and me – especially Brian Molko.
A COUPLE OF PURE MORNINGS AFTER PLACEBO’S PERFORMANCE IN AARHUSSubmission by: Giedre Matulaityte
Now that almost a week has passed after the unfortunate Brian Molko’s breakdown in Train, it’s possible to look at it from a new perspective that might be not as harsh as on the night of the concert. All is good. They apologized. They promised to come back. Are we still going if they do?
Some rock stars have big egos. Some people tend to think they are the center of the universe. Some people think it’s all about them. Some people don’t give a damn about others.
I don’t think Brian is that kind of rock star. Having battled depression and anxiety for too many years I’ve developed an ability to spot those who might be a bit alike. The ones around you might assume that the only thing you care about is you. Obviously, that makes you to shut down even more which might translate as a lack of compassion to others and an excuse to withdraw from your direct responsibilities. But the truth is, there is no ‘self’ left in a broken heart. You distance yourself from the ones you care about. So you’re alone in this battle. The only way to survive is to figure some kind of escape strategy, which among other things might be creating something. Or the sex. Or the drugs. But then the complications follow, for the distractions work for just a mere second before you find yourself as hopeless as ever in the cold light of day.
In what kind of circumstances do you usually listen to Placebo? Is it possible not to take their music personally? It’s not party music. It’s the kind of music you’re most likely to listen to alone in your room. The kind of music you only share with a handful of people who might understand. The kind of music that reaches the darkest point of your inner void and lifts you up just enough to battle yet another pure morning when it’s 4 am and you’re still awake.
I could never imagine what it feels like to play your own songs that are 20 years old. I will probably never know what it feels like to make your “The Best of…” album. But I’m starting to feel what it means to be getting older. Getting weaker. Hopefully, you’ve been doing something you’re good at. Hopefully, you found somebody that liked what you’ve created. And now what? You see others having learned to appreciate life for what it is. You see others capable of having fun. You see others and you realize that everybody goes through something difficult at some point of their lives. And that they learn to live with their traumas. They do, but you probably never will. So you shut down again.
And then there is us, the crowd. Some of us are standing in the back with their eyes shut, taking in every word and every sound. Some of us are cheering in the front row, trying to reach out to our idols. We are the living proof that in 20 years of band’s existence the music no longer belongs to the author. It belongs to the listener, it’s become a soundtrack for many moments that have turned into memories, and even more moments that we probably forgot, and yet they made us who we are now.
Brian Molko: “If you touch something and it doesn’t feel real, then it’s not there”.
A voice from the audience: “But we’re real”.
Brian Molko: “…Really? Then touch me”.
A voice from the audience: “But we’re real”.
Brian Molko: “…Really? Then touch me”.
Distancing yourself from the pressure you’ve been trying to put up with throughout the years is sure a healthy thing to do. The moment you’re actually done with being productive, efficient and goal-oriented, you finally get a sense of real freedom. You’re no longer afraid of getting nothing done. And sometimes you just let yourself not to feel well. You just don’t feel it, it doesn’t seem to be real. So probably it’s not there.
Concerts get canceled. People are allowed not to feel well. People are free to do what they want. But there are also the people who you managed to reach at some point of time in their lives. The bond you are responsible for, whether you want this or not. You said something. Somebody took it to heart.
We got it – life sucks sometimes. Being out there is challenging. Connection with people is hard to maintain. So sometimes you just don’t feel like doing any of that. However, didn’t we know that before we came to Train last Thursday? Sure we did, we are Placebo fans after all.
So what exactly was the message we were left with back then? We got Pure Morning and Loud Like Love. Whichever we choose, some of us are sending back all of that love back to Brian. While doing our best in reaching beyond our disappointment and hurt egos.
